... living alone...

... is that sometimes you get lonely.

>_<


Today's been weird too. I guess some days you put out energy and work hard and reap the spoils immediately. And some days good things just come to you without hardly any effort. And some days you just need a rest so you rest and recover.
And some days you work your ass off and don't get shit done. You broadcast yourself to the world, but the world just isn't paying attention.
Well, I guess that's the price we pay for those amazing days when the good stuff just keeps coming in so easily. Meh, it's worth it.

:-/

:)

... euh, je suis timide

P.S. (2 posts in 1 day, what?)


Part 1

I don't know if I've discussed this in my blog before, but one of the wonderful things about living in New York City is I fall in love every 5 minutes (if I'm out and about, that is). I'll be on the subway or walking around the park and I'll see someone that just epitomizes everything I've ever wanted in a relationship/soul-mate/one-night-stand and as long as that person is standing/sitting/walking/dancing in my field of vision I can let myself go off on a beautifully romantic fantasy where we two find oneness in one another, exploring the mysterious depths of each other's souls while experiencing every detail of each other's bodies, finding love and inspiration in each other's arms...

And then he/she will disembark at his/her subway stop, or whatever, and I'll blissfully forget about the whole thing.


Part 2

New York City is the most linguistically diverse city in the world. I haven't checked my sources on that, but just from personal experience I can confidently say that it's gotta be in the top 5 at least. This is AWESOME, but, at least for now, it's only really significant for me personally when I hear people speaking french. Alors, je parle un peu le français. Mais, je suis très, très timide pour parler, especialement avec des gens francophones. Mais les gens francophones ont les meilleurs pour m'aider apprendre la langue, mais oui. Oh, ma grammaire! Je ne veux pas savoir.


1+2 (=3)

Anyway, a guy with a french accent came in to drop off laundry, and I said one phrase to him en français ("je parle en peu le français") and I'm pretty sure he fell in love with me just for the 5 minutes he was in the store. In reference to Part 1, it was wonderful to be on the receiving end of that blissful and forgettable love-at-first-sight. In reference to Part 2, I'm never gonna let myself be debilitatingly timid about speaking French again. Who knows how many other native speakers may fall in love with me when they hear their own language? What opportunities have I been missing!?!?

;)

... my window

Roof cats

There are cats. So many cats. One day I counted 15 cats on the roof of the building across the backyard from my window (I think there are about 12 in the photo above), and I'm quite certain there were some missing that day. You see, I've kinda gotten to know some of them.

I keep waiting for this situation to be horrible and annoying. I'm pretty sure most people would be upset at the idea of 15 or 20 alley cats camping out by the window. Especially if any of those people have allergies, which I do. Allergies aside there's still the caterwauling to consider. The noise of fighting... and fucking.

But, strangely enough, these cats have been rather a pleasant commodity in my tiny rented room with no kitchen (at all) and no bathroom except the rather filthy one down the hall. They're less noisy than the train that comes by every 10 minutes. They're far enough away from my window that they don't aggravate my allergies. They're ADORABLE! And every time I hear them meowing as I'm drifting off to sleep I think of Audrey... in a happy way. (For those of you who don't know who Audrey is, there's a rather hefty post about her in the works, so stay tuned.)

I have a tiny room. I have no furniture. I'm working overtime and making less than my rent. I'm not acting or taking dance classes or doing any of the things I came here to do. But I have kitties to make me happy.

:)